What Are Your Names?


Some have asked me why I use a multiple sign-off for these messages. It’s because I’m using all my most common names, ones that reflect my key relationships with others. Most people call me Nancie. My children call me Mom. I’m three-year-old Cedar’s Mimi, and all my other grandchildren call me Grandma.

But those aren’t all the names for me. My husband usually calls me by a pet name that I like, and both my cousin and my friend Debbie often call me Nanc.

Spouse, parent, grandparent, cousin, and friend. Those are some of my names. There are others: Stepmother. Mother-in-law. Sister. Aunt. Godmother. Neighbor. Acquaintance. Student. Alumna. Fan. Colleague. Congregant. Mentor. Mentee. Facilitator. Therapist. Volunteer. Novice. Practitioner. Lawyer. Retiree. Elder. I could go on.

Don’t we all have multiple roles in our lives? Multiple names? I’m drawing a distinction here between the internal (identity; who am I?) and the external (roles and relationships; who am I in the world?). In this time of distancing, we might be thinking more about both our internal identity and our external roles. Of course they are interrelated. But it may be in some of our roles that we are feeling most disconnected now. Perhaps you’ve asked yourself at some time in your life, “who am I if I’m not a [fill in the blank]?” If you’re asking that now, let me offer some possible answers:

Listener
Healer
Inspirer
Child
Spouse
Parent
Sibling
Networker, Connector
Confidant
Record Keeper, Historian
Safe Haven
Explorer
Advisor
Role Model
Mediator
Supporter
Nurturer
Artist
Comforter
Problem Solver
Organizer
Advocate
Planner
Sounding Board
Spiritual Guide
Cheerleader, Encourager
Guardian
Peacemaker
Voice of Reason
Challenger
Seeker
Witness
Helper
Truth Teller
Visionary
Storyteller
Morale Booster
Entertainer
Justice Seeker
Caregiver
Protector
Optimist
Activist
Instigator
Partner
Dreamer
Collaborator
Source of Hope
Consensus Builder

I have a longer list, but you get my point. Each of us fills so many different roles, and we all have many and varied relationships. Even when we cannot do all the things we are used to doing — when we cannot work, go to school, or pursue many of our regular activities — we still have many names. Perhaps you’d like to think about yours today. Maybe we all could use a reminder of our value, and of the many ways that we show up in the world even when we are physically separated.

Until tomorrow, stay safe, stay well, and know that you have many names. Thank you all for living into the various names by which I know you.

Love,
Nancie/Mom/Mimi/Grandma

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