Mindfulness
These daily e-mails are
meant to give us a break from the relentless news, but we do still need to pay
attention to the world around us. That’s where mindfulness comes in. It allows
us to be fully in the present without becoming overwhelmed. To be mindful
simply means to pay attention; it means to be in the moment consciously and to
observe our thoughts, feelings, and emotions without judgment.
Despite our best efforts to stay calm, we probably all have our moments these days. I had one about a week ago. I read something, thought about my children, and felt a wave of panic begin to rise within me. I could feel the stress in my body even as my thoughts and feelings swirled. Perhaps you know the sensation. It was deep breathing — which slowed my climbing heart rate — and mindfulness that allowed me to pause, come back into the present, and choose not to allow my anxious thoughts to hijack me.
Being mindful doesn’t mean rejecting or ignoring emotions. Just the opposite, in fact. When we are mindful, we can acknowledge and accept our feelings and emotional state without being sucked into the story behind them. So, for example, in that moment I was able to simply observe that I was anxious and fearful without spinning out into panic. It doesn’t always happen that way for me, but this time I had just enough of a pause to allow me to choose to self-soothe rather than react to the stories in my head. I put down the article I was reading and went to bed with a good book. That doesn’t mean that I completely stopped feeling anxious, or that I didn’t think about it still. But once I was able to simply accept my feelings, then I could explore the sensation of anxiety and ask myself, “but what’s happening right now, in this moment? Is anything bad happening to my children right this minute?” As far as I knew, the answer was no. My body stilled. I got the sleep I needed. And the next day, when I felt calm, I was able to talk with Carl about my experience in a way that both helped me and did not stress him.
These are surely distressing times, and we are all especially susceptible to emotional volatility right now. Here’s an idea you can try. The next time you start to feel overwhelmed by something (which could be any minute now, for most of us), see if you can pause, take a deep breath, slowly count to 10, and just notice what happens in your body. Repeat the deep breathing and counting until you feel yourself begin to unwind. Then, instead of reacting as you typically might, see if you can say to yourself, “I am feeling overwhelmed right now.” Just sit with that. Allow yourself to observe the feeling without judging it as positive or negative, and to simply accept it.
There’s a difference between “I’m overwhelmed!” — whether said or simply experienced — and “I am feeling overwhelmed right now.” There’s an even greater distance between the two when you can say to yourself, “I notice that I am feeling overwhelmed right now.” The pause, the breathing, the counting, and the observing all bring you into the present moment. And they all allow you to go toward your feeling with intention and experience it with full awareness. They allow you to decide what you need in the moment and take good care of yourself.
I’ll have some more information about mindfulness and self-care in the days ahead. For now, take a look at this website:Mindfulness for all kinds of information and resources. You may be especially interested in this article from March 23, “The S.T.O.P Practice: Creating Space Around Automatic Reactions,” described as a “simple portable mindfulness practice [the author] uses to find calm when difficult moments arise. S.T.O.P.
Feelings and emotions are like COVID-19: they are highly contagious. Our ability to remain calm and centered will not only help us, but it will have a positive impact upon those around us. Here’s something else that’s contagious:
Despite our best efforts to stay calm, we probably all have our moments these days. I had one about a week ago. I read something, thought about my children, and felt a wave of panic begin to rise within me. I could feel the stress in my body even as my thoughts and feelings swirled. Perhaps you know the sensation. It was deep breathing — which slowed my climbing heart rate — and mindfulness that allowed me to pause, come back into the present, and choose not to allow my anxious thoughts to hijack me.
Being mindful doesn’t mean rejecting or ignoring emotions. Just the opposite, in fact. When we are mindful, we can acknowledge and accept our feelings and emotional state without being sucked into the story behind them. So, for example, in that moment I was able to simply observe that I was anxious and fearful without spinning out into panic. It doesn’t always happen that way for me, but this time I had just enough of a pause to allow me to choose to self-soothe rather than react to the stories in my head. I put down the article I was reading and went to bed with a good book. That doesn’t mean that I completely stopped feeling anxious, or that I didn’t think about it still. But once I was able to simply accept my feelings, then I could explore the sensation of anxiety and ask myself, “but what’s happening right now, in this moment? Is anything bad happening to my children right this minute?” As far as I knew, the answer was no. My body stilled. I got the sleep I needed. And the next day, when I felt calm, I was able to talk with Carl about my experience in a way that both helped me and did not stress him.
These are surely distressing times, and we are all especially susceptible to emotional volatility right now. Here’s an idea you can try. The next time you start to feel overwhelmed by something (which could be any minute now, for most of us), see if you can pause, take a deep breath, slowly count to 10, and just notice what happens in your body. Repeat the deep breathing and counting until you feel yourself begin to unwind. Then, instead of reacting as you typically might, see if you can say to yourself, “I am feeling overwhelmed right now.” Just sit with that. Allow yourself to observe the feeling without judging it as positive or negative, and to simply accept it.
There’s a difference between “I’m overwhelmed!” — whether said or simply experienced — and “I am feeling overwhelmed right now.” There’s an even greater distance between the two when you can say to yourself, “I notice that I am feeling overwhelmed right now.” The pause, the breathing, the counting, and the observing all bring you into the present moment. And they all allow you to go toward your feeling with intention and experience it with full awareness. They allow you to decide what you need in the moment and take good care of yourself.
I’ll have some more information about mindfulness and self-care in the days ahead. For now, take a look at this website:Mindfulness for all kinds of information and resources. You may be especially interested in this article from March 23, “The S.T.O.P Practice: Creating Space Around Automatic Reactions,” described as a “simple portable mindfulness practice [the author] uses to find calm when difficult moments arise. S.T.O.P.
Feelings and emotions are like COVID-19: they are highly contagious. Our ability to remain calm and centered will not only help us, but it will have a positive impact upon those around us. Here’s something else that’s contagious:
(Photo Credit: Raya Partenheimer)
Thank you all for your kind hearts and for the many acts of kindness I see you all doing, even when we can’t be together. It all matters.
Until tomorrow, stay home as best you can, and bless you if you go to work at an essential job. Be well.
Love,
Thank you all for your kind hearts and for the many acts of kindness I see you all doing, even when we can’t be together. It all matters.
Until tomorrow, stay home as best you can, and bless you if you go to work at an essential job. Be well.
Love,
Nancie/Mom/Mimi/Grandma
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