Target Fixation
One of my sons is a longtime motorcyclist. I have come a long way to be able to tell you that without feeling deep distress. I hate motorcycles, myself. But he loves them, and it's his life; I'm not the boss of him. So while I cannot embrace it, I have learned to accept his passion. It does bring him joy, especially now that his girlfriend Molly has taken up riding, too.
Although I am not a fan, I have learned two lessons from Michael's motorcycle career that are helping me through this challenging time. Perhaps they can also help you.
The first is this: avoid target fixation. Have you ever heard that term? I hadn't, until Michael explained it to me one day. It's a panic reflex, actually. When a motorcyclist confronts a dangerous or unusual situation, the natural instinct would be to look directly at it. But because we tend to go where our eyes take us, the rider must be able to look briefly, take in the necessary information, then turn attention back to the bigger picture and make wise choices. When target fixation takes over, the rider ignores other input and cannot look away. The inevitable outcome is a collision with the very thing the rider wants to avoid.
I found a 2016 article in Cycle World that describes it well: Target Fixation In it, author Andrew Trevitt explains why it can be paralyzing and self-injurious to focus too intently upon something within our vision. Hmm. Sounds like that could apply to our experience today.
If you read "deep distress or anxiety" in place of "panic," then I think that Trevitt nails it with this observation: "[y]our vision and where you are looking is a critical part in avoiding panic altogether as well as dealing with it when it does occur." So we need to ask ourselves, what is our vision? Where are we looking? If the answers have anything to do with constant news consumption, then it's easy to see why we might be struggling now. There is too much distressing news out there. And a steady diet of it can lead to target fixation, the inability to look away from the threat or manage our reactions to it.
On the other hand, we can make a different choice. We could fix our vision on positive goals. We could choose to mostly look at positive -- or even neutral -- input, letting that be our home base as we scan the news horizon with intention and restraint. This doesn't mean ignoring or minimizing reality. But it means not letting it hijack us. Just as with motorcycle riding, it's a way of staying upright and keeping our balance.
I've seen and heard that many of you are doing that already. Here's just a partial list of what's going on: gardening, cooking, baking, bird watching, painting, sewing, singing, crafting, volunteer work, taking online classes, social justice activism, home repair projects, reading, writing, connecting with friends, and yes, riding motorcycles. Through these and other choices, friends and family members are finding ways to focus most of their energy on restorative activities rather than on their news feeds. I can see that it's making a difference for them.
Personally, I've found this blog to be a good way for me to focus my energy elsewhere. It's not just the time I spend in writing it each day. Because it's always ticking in the back of my brain, I find myself staying alert to potential topic ideas rather than just ruminating about the latest news. Carrying the blog in my head, along with the news, helps me to avoid fixating on the pandemic or on my grief and fear about it.
The other lesson I've taken from being a motorcycle mom is radical acceptance. This is just another way of saying, "it is what it is." It means that I don't have to like having my loved ones ride motorcycles, but I must accept that it is a fact. I cannot change it, so I can only torture myself by dwelling on it and wishing it were not true. Couldn't we all say the same thing about our current circumstances? We can lessen our own stress by radically accepting that we must remain vigilant in staying home for now, in keeping our distance, and in wearing masks and taking other precautions to keep ourselves and others safe.
I'll have a bit more to say about radical acceptance in the next day or two. In the meantime, is there something you could do to avoid target fixation today? Is there something you need to radically accept?
Until tomorrow, stay safe and be well.
Love,
Nancie/Mom/Mimi/Grandma
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| Molly and Michael |
The first is this: avoid target fixation. Have you ever heard that term? I hadn't, until Michael explained it to me one day. It's a panic reflex, actually. When a motorcyclist confronts a dangerous or unusual situation, the natural instinct would be to look directly at it. But because we tend to go where our eyes take us, the rider must be able to look briefly, take in the necessary information, then turn attention back to the bigger picture and make wise choices. When target fixation takes over, the rider ignores other input and cannot look away. The inevitable outcome is a collision with the very thing the rider wants to avoid.
I found a 2016 article in Cycle World that describes it well: Target Fixation In it, author Andrew Trevitt explains why it can be paralyzing and self-injurious to focus too intently upon something within our vision. Hmm. Sounds like that could apply to our experience today.
If you read "deep distress or anxiety" in place of "panic," then I think that Trevitt nails it with this observation: "[y]our vision and where you are looking is a critical part in avoiding panic altogether as well as dealing with it when it does occur." So we need to ask ourselves, what is our vision? Where are we looking? If the answers have anything to do with constant news consumption, then it's easy to see why we might be struggling now. There is too much distressing news out there. And a steady diet of it can lead to target fixation, the inability to look away from the threat or manage our reactions to it.
On the other hand, we can make a different choice. We could fix our vision on positive goals. We could choose to mostly look at positive -- or even neutral -- input, letting that be our home base as we scan the news horizon with intention and restraint. This doesn't mean ignoring or minimizing reality. But it means not letting it hijack us. Just as with motorcycle riding, it's a way of staying upright and keeping our balance.
I've seen and heard that many of you are doing that already. Here's just a partial list of what's going on: gardening, cooking, baking, bird watching, painting, sewing, singing, crafting, volunteer work, taking online classes, social justice activism, home repair projects, reading, writing, connecting with friends, and yes, riding motorcycles. Through these and other choices, friends and family members are finding ways to focus most of their energy on restorative activities rather than on their news feeds. I can see that it's making a difference for them.
Personally, I've found this blog to be a good way for me to focus my energy elsewhere. It's not just the time I spend in writing it each day. Because it's always ticking in the back of my brain, I find myself staying alert to potential topic ideas rather than just ruminating about the latest news. Carrying the blog in my head, along with the news, helps me to avoid fixating on the pandemic or on my grief and fear about it.
The other lesson I've taken from being a motorcycle mom is radical acceptance. This is just another way of saying, "it is what it is." It means that I don't have to like having my loved ones ride motorcycles, but I must accept that it is a fact. I cannot change it, so I can only torture myself by dwelling on it and wishing it were not true. Couldn't we all say the same thing about our current circumstances? We can lessen our own stress by radically accepting that we must remain vigilant in staying home for now, in keeping our distance, and in wearing masks and taking other precautions to keep ourselves and others safe.
I'll have a bit more to say about radical acceptance in the next day or two. In the meantime, is there something you could do to avoid target fixation today? Is there something you need to radically accept?
Until tomorrow, stay safe and be well.
Love,
Nancie/Mom/Mimi/Grandma
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