Choosing What Sustains You

It's one thing to wrestle with feeling motivated to do things we must do, like work and go to school. As I mentioned yesterday, sadness, anxiety, chronic stress, and fatigue may be some of the reasons why we find it hard to get these jobs done. In these trying times, it's no surprise that many people are having to look for new strategies to help them do what they need to do. Perhaps that's the case with you.

 But how are you doing with other activities these days, the ones you've taken on by choice? Are you able to tackle them with energy and enthusiasm? Or do you find yourself dreading, postponing, or avoiding some of them? If you're like me, you may be finding that even some easy or familiar tasks (e-mail; there, I've said it) feel burdensome now. Regardless of the reasons, some things we've normally done may now feel too draining for us. It's okay to say so. And it can be healing and helpful to make other choices.

We are all in completely new territory here. What burdened or uplifted us in pre-COVID days may not affect us in the same ways now. Giving ourselves compassion in these days, we can look at any choice around how we spend our own time and ask, will this drain me, or sustain me? And if the answer is that it drains me, then is it something I really need to do?

 Sometimes the answer is still yes. For many reasons, I still do need to go through my e-mails regularly. But I can limit the time I spend doing it, and can give myself permission to let some e-mailing slide. Loosening my link to e-mail lifts a burden for me and gives me more time for the reading and long walks that are sustaining me now. (And if you're one of the many people to whom I owe an e-mail, thank you for your patience and understanding. I will get back to you eventually.)
What might it look like if you were to start weighing optional tasks using the "draining/sustaining" scale? Are there things you've been doing that feel heavy? That wear you down? If so, are they really necessary, or can you let them go? And are you giving yourself time and permission to do the things that lift your spirits? Or are you telling yourself that that's not okay? If that's the case, would it help you to be reminded that it's a good thing for each of us to take responsibility for our own emotional well-being?

 Do you remember Marie Kondo? She's the "tidying up" expert who's written best sellers urging us to get rid of every tangible thing in our homes that does not "spark joy." (Just the effort of doing that sounds exhausting to me, but I will admit that I've redone my sock drawer using her folding technique, and it works. Folding Underwear) Perhaps we can channel our inner Marie Kondo when it comes to choosing how to spend our time in these stressful days. What sparks joy for you? What would it take for you to give yourself permission to choose to do more of it?

 Until tomorrow, I wish you good health and activities that sustain, rather than drain, you. Like the old ad says, you're worth it.

 Love,
Nancie/Mom/Mimi/Grandma





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