An Alternative to New Year's Resolutions

It's early morning on New Year's Day, and I am more than ready to see 2020 behind me. I know that I'm not alone in my relief to see the new year arrive. This is the traditional day to begin New Year's resolutions, but I have none.

It wasn't always so. I used to spend time in December thinking about resolutions to improve my life (or so I thought) in the year to come; I even tried to make promises to work toward goals that I thought would benefit others. The problem was that my resolutions were either too big or too small; they felt either too expansive and too constrictive. In the end, they didn't get me to the results I wanted.

A "too big" resolution was one that eventually seemed unattainable. Maybe it took more energy or commitment than I had expected, or maybe I became frustrated or impatient at how much time it took to achieve. It's a common experience, I found, with so-called "self-improvement" plans. 

Whatever the case, sooner or later I would find myself off the track with a "too big" resolution, and I would give up. And for those of us who have been given a heavy shame bucket to carry, that's just one more opportunity to feel like a failure. Sort of a lose-lose proposition, and a foreseeable one.

On the other hand, setting a modest, specific goal might make it more likely that I would reach it, but I found that it limited my vision. Once I'd set a concrete goal, I stopped imagining other possibilities. So resolutions I could actually keep were invariably too small. I might have felt more successful, but I was overlooking opportunities to do more.

It turns out that I do better not with a list of resolutions, but with what might be better described as words to live by, or a mantra. I think about the way I used to advise law students when I taught appellate advocacy. "You need a theme," I would tell them. "Something short and clear that will tell the court what you want and why that's the proper result in this case. It should be no more than 25 words, and simple enough that anyone could understand it. When you have your theme in mind, then you'll view each question you're asked not as a challenge, but an opportunity. And when you really understand your theme, you'll always have a consistent answer because you'll filter it through that concept."

It takes time to develop the theme of a legal case. It takes careful analysis, deep thinking, and word smithing to craft something brief, clear, and compelling. One may have to rethink and rewrite the theme many times before it is really done. But once the right words are in place, the theme makes the direction clear.

It's the same with a personal mantra. While it may not take the same level of analysis to develop, it does take deep understanding of one's goal to find a useful mantra. Just as with the theme of a legal case, though, a sound personal mantra will be a reliable compass for our actions.

I'm not sure that I have yet landed on my mantra for 2021. And I may have more than one. But we don't necessarily have to write our own. For now, I'm leaning into the familiar admonition by Pope Paul VI that, "if you want peace, work for justice." I'm also remembering that, as Saint Theresa of Calcutta told us, "not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with love."  I think of that together with Martin Luther King, Jr.'s observation that, "change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle." 

Of course I hope to accomplish certain things. And there are tasks that I must do, some of which are time-consuming and not my favorites. But it will be easier for me to set a real path to my goals and to do the things that must be done if I am hearing the words of Dr. King, Saint Theresa, and Pope Paul VI in my head. If I can let go of lists and just focus on doing the small things I can do to work for justice, then the change I hope to see and the peace I pray for will be more likely to come. Perhaps not in my lifetime, but they will come.

For now, I can draw strength for the effort from my go-to source -- music -- and be reminded of the potential for Beloved Community when I see videos like this. 

Perhaps New Year's resolutions work for you. Or maybe you'll decide to adopt a mantra. Either way, let's keep up the fight for justice. Now is always the time.

Love,

Nancie/Mom/Mimi/Grandma

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